Usually, this humble “weblog” discusses the higher things in life. You know the sort of stuff we mean: Peter Handke novels; Mark Rothko paintings; Billy Joel; American cheese; &c. The classy, highbrow things.

Our regular reader(s) may be somewhat perplexed, therefore, to discover the topic of todayÂ’s lucubration: A judgeÂ’s ruling that popular music sensation Britney Spears must hand over her young children to her ex-husband, one Kevin Federline. Not, we must freely admit, the sort of thing that typically inspires the crack young staff.

So youÂ’ll pardon us, dear reader, if we stop pontificating about the finer points of chiaroscuro to slum it a bit. Although, like all people who possess both ears and a brain, we thoroughly despise the anti-music of Britney Spears, we simply canÂ’t help ourselves from discussing her latest woes.

And you must admit that Ms. Spears has just been hit pretty hard. We mean, come on: She has to give her kids up to Kevin Federline because sheÂ’s insufficiently responsible to take care of them! Have you ever seen Kevin Federline? The guyÂ’s one part Ed Grimley and two parts oily beauhunk. HeÂ’s the un-thinking manÂ’s townie, for crying out loud.

If you lose custody to a fellow like that, itÂ’s pretty much time for your intervention. ThereÂ’s a Betty Ford clinic with your name on it somewhere, for ChristÂ’s sake.

To make matters even more painful, we thought that Ms. Spears was finally turning a corner. After all, she had gained some much-needed weight for her slutty outfits and was partying at all hours with the likes of Paris Hilton.

Who would have thought this would lead to trouble? Not us, not us.

If you ask us, the Britney vs. K-Fed baby saga is the sort of dust-up in which one hopes that neither parent gets custody. WeÂ’d prefer that Osama bin Laden raise their kids. Hey, at least Osama doesnÂ’t seem to party all the time.

Soldiers; teachers; witchdoctors; pedophiles—these are just a few of the people who would do a better job raising Britney’s kids than would she and K-Fed.

Posted by: Chip at 12:01 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Remember Jean Sara Rohe? SheÂ’s the arrogant little college graduate-cum-pseudo-folk singer who briefly became a left-wing hero last year. At her graduation ceremony at the Eugene Lang New School for Social Research, Ms. Rohe memorably used her role as senior class speaker to lambaste Sen. John McCain.

Sen. McCain, youÂ’ll recall, would deliver his own address at the ceremony, and the arrogant Ms. Rohe decided to fill the auditorium up with moronic platitudes about peace, brotherly love, and likeminded sophomoric nonsense. In addition, Ms. Rohe lit into Sen. McCain, who gracefully refused to strike back at her in his own speech.

We, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” mention this, dear reader, because the Left’s reaction to Ms. Rohe’s antics is in striking contrast to its treatment of another ill-mannered collegiate speaker: Lee Bollinger, president of Columbia University. Whereas Jean Sara Rohe became a folk hero on the Left, Mr. Bollinger is ridiculed for his purportedly gauche behavior.

As everyone on GodÂ’s green (and rapidly warming) earth must know, Mr. Bollinger recently excoriated Iranian whacko Mahmoud Ahmadinejad before the Nutter-in-Chief offered some dubious remarks to an audience at Columbia University. Mr. Bollinger took issue with President Ahmadinejad for, among other things, denying the Holocaust, maltreat gays, offering material support to terrorism, radically curtailing free speech and freedom of expression, and holding political prisoners.

Now, one might have thought that our buddies on the political Left would applaud such talk. After all, they supposedly donÂ’t esteem those who, say, deny the Holocaust, hang homosexuals, and support theocratic terrorists.

If they cheered when Jean Sara Rohe ridiculed an American senator who supports the Iraq War, then, surely theyÂ’ll delight in the excoriation of an anti-Semitic, theocratic fascist who blithely supports terrorists who kill American troops.

Oh, but no. It turns out they believe that John McCain doesn’t deserve the sort of mannered, respectful treatment that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad does. Executing homosexuals and declaring a desire to “wipe Israel off the map” appears not to rankle as much as hoping for an American victory in Iraq.

Accordingly, our buddies on the Left—at The Nation, Counterpunch, the Daily Kos, &c.—are in a virtual e-tizzy over Lee Bollinger’s bad manners. How horrid!

To be honest, dear reader, it is difficult to take such people seriously. They pretend offense when you say that they support any odious government, providing itÂ’s sufficiently anti-American. And thenÂ…they support any odious government, providing itÂ’s sufficiently anti-American.

Posted by: Chip at 12:01 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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